Is it me or is it cold in here?

Recently, somebody called me 'cold hearted'.

After I had thanked them for the compliment ( which of course annoyed them even further ) I went on to enquire exactly what it is they meant by it. What it meant 'in their language'.

Apparently it was because when THEY had 'problems' and they were telling me about them, instead of doing depressed right there alongside them, I stayed neutral and looked at the situation dispassionately and gave advice from that view point. Which is sooo much easier to do when it's someone other than yourself, ain't it?

(I think they really wanted me to play the 'he said she said' game. After all, I think that's what their other friends always did. Guess my response disappointed them.)I am glad they said it though because it gave me pause for thought. I realised that being cold hearted is such a great resource to be able to call upon when dealing with 'problems'.

Not only with other people’s situations but with your own too.

Step back in your mind when you are in a tricky situation and 'take the feelings out of the situation' - like turning down the colour in the picture till it is black and white. Put your 'Mr Spock' head on. Talk, act and think as though the 'problem' belongs to a dear silly friend who needs advice. Write down the best solution/answer/way forward that you can see, given all the factors in the scenario.

Seal it in an envelope then go to sleep, knowing that you are now 51 per cent of the way towards solving it tomorrow. Sleep well then wake up and open the envelope and read the instructions as though they were from the highest authority that you know. And follow them to the letter - regardless of whatever feelings start to surface. You know you have the right advice.

Being cold hearted is like any other skill or resource - ya have to use it a lot else you lose it.
But use yourself as the Guinea pig and add it to the tool box of personal transformation skills you are mastering.

Remember, there is no such thing as a bad resource.

Only a inefficient way of utilising it.

Originally posted on Tuesday, November 28, 2006 at 02:10PM