In praise of the A.S.C (Anti-Social Chameleon)
In this world of 'hurry hurry hurry' and 'now now now' it is very easy to lose sight of exactly WHO you truly are. It is an essential insight that is vital for personal actualisation but on many levels it is the hardest step to take. We all are so many things to so many people. We wear many masks everyday - so many so that it is so easy to lose ourselves in the roles that we play.
Mother, Father (sometimes both if you are a lone parent) Sister, Brother, Friend, Advisor, Child, Work mate etc etc.... It’s easy to forget that we are all of these things and yet none of them exclusively too. The temptation is vast to believe that we are just an accumulation of the 'hats' that we wear. We are bombarded by the media with what I call 'Pop-corn' philosophy ( i.e something that fills a gap at the time but you could not live on it )
Quick fix solutions abound, most of which change just as quickly as the celebrity led fashions change. Change your clothes to change your life. Change your diet to change your life. Change your hair style to change your life.Yadda yadda yadda......
It is little wonder that in this world of having a 'fashionable' philosophy that so many people have no real sense of their own true identity. They are just an accumulation of other people’s opinions, ideas and viewpoints. This is the environment ideal for the Social Chameleon to thrive in.
The term 'Social Chameleon' is a common one nowadays but rarely is it applied as a full blooded compliment. More often it is an ironic, self-applied non-clementure or a term we give to someone who you intuitively feel is a faker. Politicians, double glazing salesmen and second hand car dealers are social chameleons, as are serial seducers, sneak thieves and others of that ilk. People who enjoy the same esteem and regard in most social circles as a dead otter. Greasy but by no means smooth. When you shake their hand something inside of you tells to count your fingers afterwards. I have known lots of them in my time - and paid the price dearly for their company too.
Me? I have always veered towards the model of being an 'Anti-social Chameleon' ( ASC) myself.
To me, an ASC is someone who is in touch with who they are and what they are about. They live 'on purpose' - that is to say that their actions are in line with their beliefs and true to their values. They don't need to 'fit in' or 'play ball' because they are happy in their own skin - not someone else’s. People feel comfortable around an ASC because they know they are getting the genuine article at all times.
The ASC has no hidden agenda. They are not 'after anything'. They are congruent and genuine and forthright in their communications.
This is not to say that being an ASC makes you a little lovely ball of pink light, sweet and kind to all around you. It just means that you always know where you stand with an ASC because they don't hide behind an image or mask.
It is like biting into an olive. Being around an ASC is a strong taste sometimes and it takes a while to get used to it but once you do acquire the taste you relax because it means a goodbye to pretence.
Which is one of the biggest liberations that you could ever grant yourself.
With the world as it is though it IS easy to sink beneath the weight of 'pop corn thinking'. Don't really become your own person. Don't really change. Just pretend. Change your colours and others will never know the difference. Get a different hair cut. Change your clothes. Stay like us. Embrace the concept of change but don't REALLY do it because that threatens us and the status quo. Talk about being 'empowered' but don't actually do it.
Don't stand out. Fit in. Conform conform.
Its easy for the beautiful butterfly of transformation to be gobbled up by the hungry chameleon of mediocrity.
So.....watch your backs!
"It's better to be loved by a few than to be merely liked by many"
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