The BIGGEST LIE your mother ever told you.
Mothers - Bless em, eh? She meant well I am sure but she often gave out very strange advice. It wasn't her fault, she was just handing down unexamined advice that she had probably been told from her mother further back down the line.
Now, she did say some GREAT stuff like........always look both ways before you cross the road........don't eat yellow snow.....and my personal favourite that one about running with scissors. However, the biggest bunch of baloney that your mum ever came out with is when she sat you down before the first big date, or the big job interview and said " don't worry about it love - you just go there and BE YOURSELF".
Be YOURSELF? What the PHUQ was that all about?
This sort of home spun wisdom is always rattling around in the back of most people’s minds. Often it comes spilling out of the pie hole of some scummy mummy on daytime TV shows like 'Trisha' or my new favourite 'Jeremy Kyle'.
The 'just be yourself' advice is right up there with other sparkling nuggets of wisdom such:" If they don't like you, it’s their loss “and my all-time favourite of:" It’s not what you look like, its what’s inside that counts".( This little beauty is always said by some spot light repellent waste of skin on the back row and is always followed by a huge round of applause from the baying audience. They should know that this is just something fat and ugly people say to make themselves feel better about their condition...)
Let me ask you.
- When you go out on a first date with that special someone - are you really 'being yourself'?
On the big job interview - are you really 'being yourself'?
Are you PHUQ! (And you know it....)
What if you believe that your 'natural self' is actually an unwashed slob that likes to smoke weed and play X box all day? Or an established chocoholic that has always got their fat face in the fridge?
Maybe your 'natural self' has a thing for putting their hands in other people’s purses? Or has a bit of a penchant for under-age girls? Or is addicted to gossiping and spreading false rumours about your friends?
Is 'just be yourself' great advice in this context? In fact, I ask you just WHEN IS IT great advice?
And, my other question is: On these occasions ( like the job interview or the first date) if you have admitted that you are not being 'yourself' - then exactly WHO are you being?
Pope Gregory the Thirteenth?
Fanny Craddock?
Cyril, the amazing ice skating ant-eater?
or who????
Answers on a post card please.....
Mothers - Bless em, eh? She meant well I am sure but she often gave out very strange advice. It wasn't her fault, she was just handing down unexamined advice that she had probably been told from her mother further back down the line.
Now, she did say some GREAT stuff like........always look both ways before you cross the road........don't eat yellow snow.....and my personal favourite that one about running with scissors. However, the biggest bunch of baloney that your mum ever came out with is when she sat you down before the first big date, or the big job interview and said " don't worry about it love - you just go there and BE YOURSELF".
Be YOURSELF? What the PHUQ was that all about?
This sort of home spun wisdom is always rattling around in the back of most people’s minds. Often it comes spilling out of the pie hole of some scummy mummy on daytime TV shows like 'Trisha' or my new favourite 'Jeremy Kyle'.
The 'just be yourself' advice is right up there with other sparkling nuggets of wisdom such:" If they don't like you, it’s their loss “and my all-time favourite of:" It’s not what you look like, its what’s inside that counts".( This little beauty is always said by some spot light repellent waste of skin on the back row and is always followed by a huge round of applause from the baying audience. They should know that this is just something fat and ugly people say to make themselves feel better about their condition...)
Let me ask you.
- When you go out on a first date with that special someone - are you really 'being yourself'?
On the big job interview - are you really 'being yourself'?
Are you PHUQ! (And you know it....)
What if you believe that your 'natural self' is actually an unwashed slob that likes to smoke weed and play X box all day? Or an established chocoholic that has always got their fat face in the fridge?
Maybe your 'natural self' has a thing for putting their hands in other people’s purses? Or has a bit of a penchant for under-age girls? Or is addicted to gossiping and spreading false rumours about your friends?
Is 'just be yourself' great advice in this context? In fact, I ask you just WHEN IS IT great advice?
And, my other question is: On these occasions ( like the job interview or the first date) if you have admitted that you are not being 'yourself' - then exactly WHO are you being?
Pope Gregory the Thirteenth?
Fanny Craddock?
Cyril, the amazing ice skating ant-eater?
or who????
Answers on a post card please.....
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